So there haven't been any posts in a week.
Sorry about that. I was in London with my family.
Living in a little village filled with elderly people who all seem to know exactly who I am whilst. I on the other hand, recognize not a single one of them, London was a big change for me.
So after the lady showing us to our flat dropped the keys on the walk to the flat, down this cage thing, so they were completely irretrievable, we made it to the apartment.
The first night we were there, my parents went off to a Fleetwood Mac concert and left my brother and I at our Millennium Village apartment with the kids.
That's right. They went to see Fleetwood Mac.
WITHOUT ME :'((((((
So I had an evening of Big Hero 6, burning hot chocolate (yes, it's possible...) and "Yes, it is ACTUALLY bed time, now go to sleep!" while my parents....
....they had an evening of "The Chain", "Go Your Own Way", and "Dreams". Just to name a few.
Cruelty, I declare. They leave the music fanatic to babysit.
Mind you, the tickets were pretty expensive. I'm talking £250 apiece...
Damn right. Anyway I got told all about Lindsay Buckingham's incomparable talent on guitar and so commenced mine and my family's favourite holiday game.
Who can have the most blonde moments?
My dad started us off this time. He was talking about the concert and was talking about the bass guitar. Only he pronounced "bass" like the fish. Bass guitar.
Nice oneeeeeee. Yeah, I feel like the only one in my family with any guitar knowledge. I write my own songs and perform them and then my brother thinks that all you have to do it touch the strings and alas! Music happens.
No, more like a banshee noise.
So the next day we decide to go to the Natural History Museum. As the public transport expert, my family were terrified to be getting the underground with me. Chances were it would break down or even crash. It's the Robyn-effect.
Walking past the Emirates Airline thing in Greenwich, I manage to read "peninsula" as "penisuala". Drawing with my dad there!
Naturally though I was the only one who understood the whole different lines, change at stations thing. The stand to the right thing, not so much. So using my phone map and the underground, we made it to the museum!
It was pretty interesting. I don't remember anything of great significance except when we were looking at the Earthquake section, I attempted to revise and explained all about S and P waves to my dad and brother, who just looked positively bored.
Not sure exactly what I expected....
So after getting trampled to death while on the dinosaur walkway,was we decided to move on to the science museum.
This was great fun thanks to all the different games and stuff. Apparently, I have a female brain, and from my hand shape, the computer guessed I'm a girl. Also I found a computer thing on energy and alternatives to fossil fuels and actually emailed it to myself for revision.
That's not sad, right?
So my mum has her blonde moment and pronounces "Derby" as how it is spelt rather than "Darby" which is how it is actually pronounced.
After making the mistake of choosing to take the Covent Garden underground steps, totalling 193, we were pretty famished and so stopped at a pub for dinner. Bastards wouldn't serve me any alcohol. So, restricted to coca cola, I had dinner.
It went without a hitch. Except dad spilling wine all over my sister's fish and chips, and after the waiter gave us new chips, my sister proceeded to pour the entire salt-cellar on top of them.
Took me a good 7 minutes to shake the salt off of each individual chip.
But dessert was basically the best thing that ever happened to me. Chocolate-coated salted caramel and cream profiteroles. I mean, whoever came up with that...marry me please.
Well don't literally, but you get my drift. Gotta love profiteroles. And cream. And chocolate. And salted caramel. Heaveeeeeeeeen!
Next we watched the Lion King at the Lyceum Theatre. As it's heavily based on the Disney version (being produced by Disney and all...) I could pretty much quote the thing word for word.
No, it was amazing! Lloyd decided to look at the moon and talk about how the London mog covered the sky (he meant smog, 1:1:1:1) And we got back to the apartment and I crash-dived onto my amazingly comfortable leather-sofa bed thing.
It wasn't actually very comfortable...
The next day we went to the British museum and I was shocked at the number of statues of dead guys who's dicks had fallen off. I'm telling you, those dudes must have seriously pissed off some females during their lives.
The mummies were interesting. I'd probably have enjoyed it more if my dad hadn't been next to me going "he looks a bit gooey still, dontcha think, Rob? Almost like a good bit of steak!"
Just an example. But it did get worse....
The place is honestly mesmerizing. You could get lost in that building so so easily and not find your way out for hours! It reminded me of Versailles quite a lot. But that may have been due to the people walking around with headsets on.
So we went for a trek around London and saw Trafalgar Square, thought about going in to the National Gallery before realising you had to pay, saw Big Ben, you know; all the sights and whathaveyou.
Then we had dinner at this pub in North Greenwich which had portion sizes the size of my fingernail. I mean, it was nice, just small. These guys let me have a cider. But only one. I wasn't allowed more than that.
Had a nice time with my family watching BGT and essentially getting bullied. F.A.B.
Final day in London and we go to Portobello Road. This was pretty cool, except somehow we managed to coincidentally have chosen the 150th anniversary of the market to go and visit it so naturally it was rammed.
So you've got me, socially awkward and a crowd-avoider, shoving this buggy round with my brother in it, getting, I KID YOU NOT, hit in the FACE!
Okay, so I may be a tad on the short side...but I'm not that short! After a while I was like "DONE WITH THIS SHIT!" and let someone else push.
There were loads of antique shops and the food was lush that they had at the market but I mean I found a Hummingbird Bakery store so that made my day with a salted caramel cupcake om nom nom.
If you want me to love you give me salted caramel and I will be yours forever. I don't even think I'm kidding...
We went back to the apartment to get ready for our classy meal out at the Bloomsbury Hotel. Well. I sat and freaked out as to what to wear while the rest of my family took a nap.
Story of my life.
So I was sat there texting people who were like "wear what you feel comfortable in"
That would be my pyjamas....
So Danny replies to my text asking how to be classy and says I should wear whatever makes me most attractive. So I reply "A plastic bag over my face?". He then points out that plastic bags are see-through and paper bags are waaay classier.
Relationship goals xD
I manage to get myself sorted with heels and a knee length dress and a slightly darker shade of lipstick than I would normally wear. Oh, and eyeshadow. Basically I looked like a prozzie!
And then went on the London Underground! I'm telling you, I fit right in....
The meal was amazing anyway, like honestly amazing! I had a steak because I was born to be classy and my brother actually asked for ketchup.... and they let me have cider too! Although somehow they managed to mishear me and asked if I'd said Guinness. Mum says that because I wear a man's watch I must give off the whole Guinness-girl vibe.
Yeah well she doesn't have a Casio G-shock shockproof waterproof stopwatch timer alarm watch that is pretty damn awesome soooo no judging puh-lease!
Only disappointing part was the lack of chocolate dessert option. I had this weird rice pudding with....wait for it....wait for it....wait for it...
FENNEL ICE CREAM!!
It was the weirdest thing I have ever tasted. I still haven't quite recovered. It was too weird. It was nice. But weird. Just really really weird.
Oh, and also weird.
Then we went to the Dominion Theatre to see Lord of the Dance! At first I was like ehhh and then the tap dancing started and I have to say it's proper amazing. The whole room buzzes and you can feel the shoes hitting the ground and it's all so in sync that you just can't really believe it's happening.
No, but the weirdest part was the end. They all started bowing and I thought, my cue to leave, I'll go and get the buggy! And then what happens is Michael Flatley comes onstage.
He's not actually meant to be in the show. So we were super confused. This is the guy who made the show, choreographed it, and invented River Dance. In 1994 he performed on Eurovision and it wowed the world.
So you know...pretty incredible. All the dancers proceeded to do this awesome routine that was incredible, synced, and Flatley was the star of it.
So the next night I'm watching the BGT final with my brother at home. And it finishes. And then the Lord of the Dance cast are on screen dancing the same routine that we saw the night before.
And I'm freaking out. I'm phoning people. I think I probably killed Danny's eardrums by leaving a high-pitched answerphone message so I'm sorry about that. I phone my parents who are at an Elton John concert (don't even go there...)
It was the weirdest deja-vu experience E.V.E.R
So I watched the live dress rehearsal of Flatley's last ever TV performance less than 24 hours before the TV performance.
Heck, he was even wearing the same clothes.