Staying fit....OVERRATED!!!

So I'm doing this instead of my wonderful English homework.

Yay me. Little rebel!

To be fair, it's a comparative essay on two poems with literally nothing in common.... I've written two pages of me completely bullshitting already, I've sort of given up.

So I thought I'd share my experiences of the past few days with you guys, my fellow, invisible readers.

(It would be awesome if someone could comment by the way so that you're not an invisible reader anymore :3 )

So I have a couple of friends who swear that going running makes them feel invincible and just goddamn on top of the world.

So naive little me....

NAIVE LITTLE ME....

....thought, hey, why don't I start getting up a little bit earlier in the mornings and going for a run before school.

WHAT A GOOD IDEA!

I thought it would be nice to be a bit fitter, maybe tone up a few muscles and feel better about myself.

I just feel like a total fucking mess now. Not gonna lie....

It started off pretty good. Just sorta ran across a field next to my house and thought go me, I'm a legend, look at me go... well, time to go home now....

Oh.

I've been out for 50 seconds.....

So I did carry on going for like another 20 minutes, got home and thought fuck me, I'm hungry...

So proceeded to make salted caramel brownies (which were flipping heavenly!!!)

My weight-loss etiquette is super amazing, as you can tell.

My back hurt soooo much after though I actually went back to bed after lunch....

When I first came downstairs in all my gear, little lycra shorts, frizzy hair pulled back and a cami, my parents did a double take.

They were pretty supportive though and I was fairly proud of myself.

Monday morning I woke up at 6:40am and ran 2.5km around my village. It took 20 minutes but hey, I'm not very fit so I was pretty proud. My dad got the biggest shock coming downstairs at 7:15 and finding me all hot and bothered and most shockingly.....awake.

I was way too smiley for a Monday morning though....people began to get worried.

Something that peed me off rather spectacularly though.... The app I used to time me and track my distance also told me how many calories I burned with my work-out.

ONE HUNDRED

AND FIFTY-THREE

MOTHERFUCKING CALORIES

THAT IS IT!

I was so put out. All that effort to only burn like one twentieth of what I'm meant to per day.

So instead of listening to my sore and achey muscles, naturally, I went again this morning (Tuesday).

What a fucking mistake....

After I couldn't walk without stumbling, my legs were so heavy, my hips ached and my ankles burned like hell.

To burn another 150 calories....

I'm taking tomorrow off before I fuck myself up too much...

In all fairness, my legs do seem more toned than before....although that may be my imagination....

Anyway, the point is....exercise is completely overrated, though I will stick to this whole running regime as I have my reasons for wanting to be fitter...

Like doing a cross-channel relay in the summer...

What is wrong with me?

So I have a volunteer job as a lifeguarding teacher, or poolside assistant thingy ma bob...

Basically, I teach kids how to save peoples' lives and it's actually pretty fun.

I qualified as a lifeguard in the summer and I was pretty pleased with myself as it's pretty tough work, especially swimming with clothes on....

I got my job conformation certificate the other day through the post and it says something pretty weird....

"Position applied for: CHILD WORKFORCE"

No. I did not sign up for the flipping child slave trade....

What's wrong with "teacher"?